


Where's My Love (Just Come Home)

by katienelly



Category: Motherland: Fort Salem (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Post 1x06, Song fic, am I also proud of myself? just a bit, am I sorry? yes, just a lot of angst cause im still hurting, raelle x abigail if you're into this ship and you squint a little
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:14:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23907529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katienelly/pseuds/katienelly
Summary: Will Raelle find Scylla?aka How Raelle is (not)coping with Scylla being gone and she just wants her girlfriend backA missing scene from 1x06/07
Relationships: Raelle Collar/Scylla Ramshorn
Comments: 6
Kudos: 105





	Where's My Love (Just Come Home)

**Author's Note:**

> Title and fic based on the song Where's My Love by SYML.  
> I heard it and couldn't help but write about Raylla because the lyrics were too accurate... Check out the song before reading if you want to get a grasp of how sad and emotional this scene should be.
> 
> Take care, folks :*

The lights were out, the faint glow of the moonlight crept in through the window. Raelle watched as the shadow of a tree moved on the floorboards - left and right, left and right - hypnotizing her, while the wind blew outside. She could hear the shallow, rhythmic sound of Abigail and Tally's breaths as they slept.

It had taken Tally about thirty seconds to fall into slumber, a skill Raelle would be genuinely impressed by in any other circumstances, but now she was just jealous of it. Abigail had tossed and turned in her sheets for another hour before her body had finally settled and her breath had evened out. But no amount of time or tossing around would let Raelle drift away from the numb state of sorrow into sleep.

She tried to close her eyes, she would squeeze them so hard that her face would hurt, but every time she did it the only thing she saw was Scylla. Her eyes, her mouth, that little smile of hers, the tiny twitch of her eyebrows when she spoke. The conflicted look on her face when she turned to Raelle in their dance at the wedding. The fear hiding behind those bright, astute eyes that avoided meeting Realle’s. Raelle's skin itched at the memory of Scylla's palm in hers and the way Scylla squeezed her shoulder when she said those words.

_No matter what happens, I love you._

Raelle buried her face in the pillow for the tenth time that night, wishing it was Scylla's neck again, fighting the scream that tightened her throat.

If only she'd said it back. If only Scylla knew she felt the same; she felt it so deeply.

Raelle tossed herself around and landed on her back. Counting the bars of Tally's bunk-bed above her didn't work. Watching the shadows on the walls only made Raelle more anxious. Hearing how her the other girls slept soundly only frustrated her more.

With the sting of tears welling up in her eyes again and an angry huff, she decided that lying still was too much for her to handle right now. She swung her legs out of the bed and searched in the dark for her boots and jacket and made her way to the door. A sudden loud snore froze her in the tracks.

She waited a few seconds with her hand hovering above the doorknob until she noticed Abigail turn in her sleep and face the window. A small sigh left Raelle's mouth. She didn't want to be caught sneaking out, nor did she want to have to explain herself. All she needed was to leave this room.

The dormitory hall was empty, the same shadows, as inside the room, danced on the floor along with the moonlight, which lit Raelle the way to a familiar door. She walked carefully across the corridor, accompanied only by the sound of her loud heartbeat pounding against her chest.

She knew the door lead to a staircase because all the dorms on the campus had the same layout. With the haunting thought of the time she had followed Porter's memories, she started climbing the staircase until she reached its top.

The first thing Raelle felt when she stepped out onto the rooftop was the shiver running down her spine. Firstly, the wind hit her face, blowing away her hair, sobering her up and making her choke on her own breath. She stepped back to catch her balance.

Then the vision hit her again. Porter's silhouette standing on the edge of the building. The absence of any emotion in his eyes as he looked back right before he jumped.

A flash of pain sent Raelle to her knees. She groaned and fought to keep her eyes open, not let the foreign memory consume her and keep her paralyzed on the ground.

But in that moment, she realized that she understood exactly why he did it. Raelle, too, was filled with unbearable sadness.

Before she could take control of her own body, Raelle was on her feet again and moving forward. It took her a few steps to reach the edge of the building, where she stopped and looked ahead. From there she could notice the Necros' dormitories building. All the lights in the windows were out. Raelle prayed in her heart for this one particular window to light up. Couldn't it be just that simple? To see the light in Scylla's room and know she's still alive, know she's safe, or at least just know where she is?

Raelle only realized there were tears on her cheeks when another persistent blow of wind turned them cold enough to notice. At this point, she couldn't even tell how high from the ground she was as her vision went blurry. In an instant, her thoughts traveled to the first time she had used Salva with Scylla. If she stepped forward right now, would she float away?

"No," Raelle croaked out. "No..."

As if someone siphoned all her power, she stumbled, leaning forward on her knees. Slowly Raelle lowered herself all the way to the cold, concrete end of the rooftop and sat with her legs hanging over the edge.

From the torment of emotions storming through her in waves, she entered the now familiar state of numb emptiness. Her mind went blank again, save for the image of Scylla, and the feeling of Scylla’s breath tickling her ear while they had danced countless times that feral day.

The wind rocked Raelle's feeble body as another wave of despair started creeping its way out from within Raelle's chest, and bringing with itself the long-forgotten words and memories of soft tunes of a guitar.

Raelle whispered into the darkness:

_"Cold sheets, where's my love..._

_I am searching high, I'm searching low in the night..."_

A sob shook her body, but she continued quietly:

_"Does she know that we bleed the same?_

_Don't wanna cry but I break that way..."_

She trembled at another blow of air. Her voice broke through the wind again:

_"Did she run away,_

_Did she run away, I don't know._

_If she ran away,_

_If she ran away, come back home._

_Just come home... "_

Tears slid slowly down Raelle's face, but even without closing her eyes now, she could see Scylla staring right back at her. With a sudden desperate urge Raelle kept singing:

_"I got a fear, oh, in my blood,_

_She was carried up into the clouds, high above,_

_If you're there I bleed the same,_

_If you're scared I'm on my way."_

She reached out her hand. She could almost touch her.

_" Did you run away,_

_Did you run away, I don't need to know._

_If you ran away,_

_If you ran away, come back home._

_Just come home... "_

Raelle choked out the last words as her hand dropped to her thigh, once again feeling as if the last simmering flame of energy went out in her chest, not to be lit again.

Cradling her head in her stiff hands, she couldn't tell that someone was standing behind her until she felt the weight of a hand on her shoulder. Her head immediately snapped up.

"Scyl- ah..."

She saw the worried expression of Abigail's face deepen at the hopeful greeting and the immediate falter. Raelle's head just hung back down as she shrugged off Abigail's hand.

"I thought you were supposed to back away from my shit and stop following me."

"And I thought we were way past that “we don't have to be friends” shit," Abigail retorted.

When Raelle didn’t respond, she partially expected Abigail to leave but soon she felt as the girl sat next to her and some of the wind got blocked by her body.

"So... what were you singing?"

Raelle fidgeted with her fingers, scratching her palm. The darkness stretching before her was far more bearable to stare at that Abigail’s searching eyes. She took her time to answer. Another memory clouded her mind.

"My mama used to sing this song when we sat by the fire sometimes," she sniffed quietly, "when the night would get particularly somber... She sang it the night before she went to her last battle. She held me," her voice almost cracked. "She told me she would come home..."

Raelle felt Abigail's hand rest on her shoulder again but she didn't dare to look at her.

"Scylla-... She said she'd take me with her if she ever ran away..."

"Raelle-"

"Don't," Raelle's eyes closed shut. She couldn't hear another absurd argument like "they're looking for her". "She's somewhere out there, I know it. And they're doing nothing to find her."

“But her Necro teacher said-”

“I know what she said,” Raelle's jaw clenched as she kept herself from shouting out everything that had been done wrong in this whole mess of a situation no one else seemed to care about. “But it's not true, Abigail, she's not dead. I saw it, I saw her sign on my hand!”

She shoved her left hand into Abigail's line of sight, who undoubtedly looked at her like she was crazy.

“I'm not crazy, Abigail, she gave me this… mark, a few days before the wedding. Whenever she drew it on the inside of her palm, it would appear on mine-”

“An S… “

“Yes, the letter S. It appeared last night, and I knew she had to be- wait, how did you know? “

Raelle's brain caught up. Puzzled, she looked at Abigail, whose jaw hung open, eyes glued to Raelle's hand stretched in front of her face.

Instead of answering, Abigail pointed at the hand.

Raelle felt her heart simply stop. The invisible weight that had been pressing on her chest since Scylla had gone missing now squeezed her throat, immobilized her.

In a slow, shaky motion, she brought the palm closer to her own face. In the faint glint of the moonlight, she saw it. The burning curve of the letter S. Scylla was trying to communicate with her again. She was still alive. She was still out there waiting for Raelle's help.

"I believe you, okay?"

Raelle barely registered Abigail's voice through the pounding in her ears as her heart picked up its pace again, racing. "But you have to think this through-"

"I will find her."

"Not without a plan."

Raelle finally met Abigail's careful but determined gaze.

"And not alone," Abigail tried to give Raelle a small reassuring smile.

Raelle's lips remained a thin line. "We can't trust anyone. Her teacher lied, Anacostia keeps avoiding giving any answers, I don't believe she doesn't have anything to do with this."

Abigail frowned. "That's a strong accusation."

"She always had a problem with Scylla being anywhere near me, " Raelle turned towards the darkness of the trees ahead, again, the slightest of sparks igniting in her chest. "If anyone wanted to keep her away from me, it's Anacostia."

"We'll follow her, then. Find out what she's hiding. Tomorrow." Abigail stood up and waited for Raelle to follow her, but the blonde didn't move. "C'mon, Raelle, you need to get some rest."

"How's your leg cramp?" Instead came a question in a rather genuine tone.

This time Abigail didn't immediately put up her defenses. She sighed and reached out her hand to help Raelle up. "Still hurts sometimes. But better."

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr @giant-black-cat-huh  
> And while you're here, tell me what you had for breakfast


End file.
